We Stand Like A Bombed Out Building

So I restarted this blog to shift focus from my summer working for CIY to what God has taught/is teaching me. Those who are saved by his grace and sealed with the Holy Spirit are continuously being sanctified (i.e. being made perfect, Christ-like) through the Spirit, and that includes me. One thing I have never been good at is living like the church is Christ's body and bride (Romans 12:3-5; Ephesians 5:31-32). I have been taught numerous ways to "love my brothers and sisters," to "reach out the the rest of the body," and more recently, a new one, "love in faith" so that I know I don't need to feel anything toward anyone to show them love. I am still pompous and arrogant.

I know it's dangerous exposing my sin like this because, like James 3:1 says, "...we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." I consider myself a teacher, in some regards, so this verse scares me, especially because how I see this blog running is that it's filled with things I'm learning (read: things I'm failing at). And if I admit to any reader who stumbles upon this that I fail at loving them, why should they listen to any wisdom God gives me?

My comfort lies in the fact that I am evil. Yeah, you read that right. I am a sinner and I only want to sin, without God's help. However, God has changed my heart enough for me to accept his gift of grace through Jesus' death and be sealed with the Holy Spirit, as I mentioned earlier. So through God's Spirit, I can love my brothers and sisters, but I cannot on my own.

For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
(Romans 8:7-11 ESV)

This is what I'm learning, always and until the day all is restored and I am fully sanctified through the Spirit. Currently, it applies to my inability to love. I cannot love alone, I need Christ in me to love for me, and to give up my selfish ambitions of seeming cool or above it all. Generally, it applies to every sin and lack of righteousness in my life. If this blog continues, you will get tired of hearing it, but will always need to: we are sinners and the only good in us is Christ, if we are saved.